Support groups are strange.
I have been attending a support group for Depression and Bipolar disorder for a few weeks now and there are a few things that I would like to discuss.
First off, I generally hate support groups. When I was younger (because I was kind of a bizarre teenager), I used to attend Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. I didn't have a drinking problem. I was just fascinated by the idea of sitting down in a big group of strangers and talking about feelings and unloading. I also tried Al-Anon and some other groups but AA was really my preferred group. I went to a group for "young people" which included folks from the ages of 14 to about 30. I credit my attendance at these meetings with the fact that although alcoholism is practically an inevitablilty in my family, I rarely (hardly ever) drink, and when I do I know when I have had too much.
The thing about these meetings was that after a couple of years of attending them, I started to realize that they were really sad, miserable places to be. For every person who shared a story of overcoming their problems and leading a much more fulfilling life, 10 people told of how they were struggling and sad and lost everything. They usually ended with a somewhat sarcastic "but I am sober" and a shrug.
Then, 15 years later, I had something of a breakdown and realized that I was willing to do ANYTHING to climb out of the depths of misery that I was living in. I was referred to a support group and told that I might find some "comfort" there. I cringed. The group meets on Tuesday nights and since I was desperate I decided I would go.
The first week I skipped out, making the excuse that I had just come home from the hospital and needed to rest. The truth was that I imagined the group as a gathering of the TRULY CRAZY where the wacky old cat lady and the creepy decrepit widow and maybe 3 other nutjobs would mourn the loss of their respective youths and would commiserate with eachother for the entire hour and a half, stopping only to sip from their cold fake-creamered decaffinated coffees.
The following Tuesday came and Ben asked me if I was going to go. I SAID yes, but my eyes apparently screamed "NOOOO! DON'T MAKE ME GO!" He offered to come along, "you know...for support or whatever." I knew then that I had no good excuse not to go. I couldn't fall back on the whole "There are creepy people there," excuse because as a sane person he would point out that I had never been there and so I couldn't really predict what the group would be like. I also couldn't just squirm out of it at the last minute because we would have to make arrangements for someone to watch Lila while we went.
We showed up and I was instantly comfortable. These were not lunatics or homeless people. Most of them did not have the somber, downcast look of the mentally ill. These were people like me. Some of them even smiled and laughed as they chatted together before the meeting started. It was a large group and there were several stories of being diagnosed, medicated, therapied (my own created word), and recovered. Some of them shared advice about doctors or programs or just simple tips for getting through the worst days. Overall, I knew I had found something that would give me a much-needed couple of hours of relating and socializing without feeling like I was oversharing for talking about the dark that has weighted on me constantly for much of my life.
Very glad to hear you overcame your initial anxiety and couragously went to the support group. And that your husband was so supportive and that the group was actually a very good one. Also nice to see that you started this new blog to deal with the struggles of depression and perhaps connect with others, receive validation and support.
ReplyDeleteHave you tried any natural products for your depression/anxiety? Not to replace whatever prescription meds you're taking (if you are taking any), but in conjunction? I'm not one of those "natural is always better, down with evil psychiatrist prescriptions!" nutjobs, or anything, just sharing what has worked for me (I have generalized anxiety disorder, and depression, but I think the depression is more related to how the anxiety disorder has made my life a spectacular failure so far...)
ReplyDeleteAnxiety: L-theanine and 5-htp are pretty good, except I don't believe 5-htp is meant to be taken with prescription meds because it raises dopamine. Personally, I don't like 5-HTP because it makes me sleepy, but I do like L-theanine. It hasn't worked any miracles on me but it has made a small difference and at this point a small difference is very welcome. There's also GABA and SAMe, but I have never tried them. Choline and inositol are supposed to be decent for depression, but in large amounts, and I can't afford that.
Energy: There's one product I'd really recommend called Maca Root. It's not an herb or a medicine, it's just powdered food from the maca plant of South America, but you can get it in capsules (better than the powder, which tastes gross.) No one really knows how or why it works, but it does elevate mood and energy, as well as balance the adrenal and endocrine systems if they are out of whack (for me it totally cleared up the hormonal acne and other PMS symptoms I'd been getting since I was 11 years old.) As best as anyone has been able to surmise, maca works so well on energy, mood and hormones because it has exactly the right nutrients your adrenals/endocrine system need, so they just soak it all up. It's pretty inexpensive too. 500mg is a good daily dose for the first 1-2 weeks, then 1500-3000mg after that. You'll see places trying to sell "raw maca powder" and stuff, but that isn't necessary...this is a food, people have been heating it for centuries.