I have yet to hear back from the counseling center so I STILL don't have an appointment with a therapist or doctor. I desperately want to start this process because I feel like I am losing momentum every day. It may just be hormonal. Or it may be that I succumbed to the placebo effect with the adjusted meds and that is now wearing off. Or I may just be having a couple of bad days.
I don't know. I am worried but trying to talk positively to myself and tell myself that it's just a little bump and that a few bad days does not foretell my falling back into the deep.
I have a support group meeting to attend tonight. Hopefully I will get some advice and inspiration from the people I meet there.
Today I focus on what is right in my life:
My daughter started preschool yesterday (her second year) and is excited and hungry to learn new things.
I have a partner who provides for us all and tries his best to love us and make us laugh.
I have a job that I am good at and a new project that is challenging and satisfying.
I am healthy and mobile and functioning.
Most importantly, I have people who read my blog and validate my observations and make me feel a little less crazy.
don't get discouraged, hun :) it sucks that the counseling centre is taking it's sweet time. i had similar problems both last year and again recently, where i was stuck on fucking waiting lists to get into the programs i needed. i was passive about it last year and spent about 7 months waiting for a spot to open up at the hop-sital. but when i was put on another waiting list again just a couple of weeks ago i decided fuck this. so i kept calling every day, asking if there was anything else i could do while i waited, anyone i could talk to or another program i could try or just ANYTHING i could do right now, cuz i couldn't wait another 3-6 months. i finally spoke with someone who put me in touch with a private program that had no waiting list, and i got started with them the next day.
ReplyDeletei'm not really sure what my exact point is here, lol ;) just don't give up, stalk them if you have to and get the help that you deserve! the greasy wheel gets the early worms, or whatever that expression is. you know what i mean ;)
keep on kicking ass!
I agree...harass the hell out of the healthcare workers until they get tired of hearing from you and give you what you want and need. Good Luck to you!
ReplyDeleteIn the meantime, if you're looking for shit to pass the time, you can always visit my blog. It's not as insightful as this one, or hilarious as your motherhood one, but it will give you hope that there are some pretty weird thinking bastards out there for which their is no cure...
I truly believe most of my friends exist as friends to me in hopes that they'll get their 15 minutes of fame when I do something truly stupid and end up on a news story for it!
One of my closest friends, a clinical psychologist, said to me one day after a tear-filled rant about how I was unhappy "Well, are you ever happy?" Yes. At times I am happy. I was happy an hour ago when I was at the park with my son and we were laughing at a llama and he peed outside for the first time. Now I am not happy because I am spending time I should be working worrying about all the work I have to do and stressing myself into a panic attack. She gave me some great insight, though...She said that when people strive to be HAPPY, they will be disappointed. There is not a soul alive who is happy all the time. It's ok to have bumps in the road, but don't go down the 'sneaky hate spiral'. And if you don't know what that is, go here to find out....http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/05/sneaky-hate-spiral.html
ReplyDeleteAt least maybe it'll give you a good laugh!
HUGS!
Jess