I am feeling so lonely today.
I wonder if it is common for those with depression to have so few friends.
I have always found it hard to truly connect with people and have had only a handful of real friends in my life. I have never really "made" new friends. People have occasionally just taken a liking to me and done all the work to be in my life until I realized they were important to me. I do not know how to begin this process.
I am jealous of everyone, all the time. Mostly because I know that even those who claim to have "only a few friends" still have people they can call just to talk. They have people to come and drag them out of the house even if they are kicking and screaming. No one does that for me. And so I drift further and further into myself, just waiting for someone to save me. I know that no one will.
Right now I am living in a very stressful situation, still waiting for something to happen and not having any real time frame for when I can finally be free. And I have no one to just vent to. I have no one I can call to go out and get my mind off things. NOT ONE SOUL. Because I have no one who understands that nothing feels good right now. Nothing feels like it will make me feel better, no matter how much I want to feel something other than this.
Welcome to my pity party.
