B took the kid to Florida for a wedding and I have been so bored out of my mind here with no kind of company, no plan, no purpose. I cleaned the house and did all my "chores" the first day and now the house is neat and I am sitting here debating whether to nap again or just look out the window. As I mentioned before, I have no one really to call and I no longer know how to pass my time alone.
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I used to LOVE being alone. Before I was hospitalized I loved to read, nap and have long afternoons to catch up on DVDs that I haven't watched. I would go to the bookstore or library and shop alone, never missing anyone's company. But things are different now. I can't read. Nothing interests me at home. I don't want to read the newspaper or sit on Facebook. I went to the bookstore yesterday with my own permission to buy whatever I wanted and nothing appealed to me. I put on a movie after dinner and by 8:30 I was asleep, waking around 3 am because I was fully rested and not able to get back to sleep.
I will be on my own in a couple of weeks. What will I do? Half the week I will be alone and with no one to call and nothing to do. I can't possibly sleep that much. What will I do? Who will help me to ward off the blackness that I can barely keep away now with people here all the time?
