Yes, I still have this blog. But issues with my computer at home have kept me from posting. Now that it is the down time at work I hope to have a little more time to post while I try to find something to do to fill my days.
A little update. I have a new job since the last time I was here. I like it for the most part. Although like I said, it is really quiet this time of year and I spend a lot of my day surfing the web looking for something to read. I have new health insurance and although having a job that offers health insurance is certainly a good thing I can't say much about the plan that I have. The prescription plan kind of sucks. One of the meds that I was on, Saphris, is only covered 50% and it is over $500 for a month's supply so I can't afford to take it anymore. Now that I have stopped taking it I am not sleeping at all. My doc tried me on Ambien CR but I only got 3 hours of sleep out of it. Not sleeping really messes with your head.
I am irritable. I am not getting out of the house much except for work and I have little appetite. I feel bad for my daughter because I am not much fun to be around. I snap at her too easily and don't want to take her anywhere. It is just too much effort. It's weird because I don't have that awful hopeless dark feeling I usually have when I feel depressed but I have all the symptoms. I have a hard time showering every day (I don't do it actually) and have totally let my appearance go. I can't tell you the last time I plucked my eyebrows or had a manicure. And all this was while I was on the Saphris so I suppose it wasn't really working all that well for me. I still take Cymbalta and Wellbutrin but they don't seem to have much of an effect on me. I know if I was to try to come off them I would be a disaster though so adding a new med is the only option really.
My doctor is going to try me on Zyprexa. My mom is on it and she swears by it. The problem with Zyprexa is that it causes huge amounts of weight gain and can cause things like high blood sugar and high triglycerides in people. I will need to be monitored on it. I call it a wash because in the last year or so I haven't had much of an appetite so I lost a ton of weight. Right now I am willing to take anything if it will help me sleep. This should do that for me at least. And maybe it will have the fringe benefit of actually making me feel a little better.
I feel like this is a really boring post but I think I am just out of practice writing. My writing chops need to be sharpened and I need to do more of it to get my voice back. I went back the other day and read some of my old posts and really liked them. I will get there again.
So if anyone is still reading this, nice to see you here. Say hi in the comments.
